When he left for a twelve-month deployment, she knew it would feel like forever before they saw each other again. She didn’t realize how right she was.

When Lance Corporal Brecken Connolly gets taken as a POW, Camryn hopes for the best but steels herself for the worst. In the end, steel was what she needed to survive when he didn’t. She moves on the only way she knows how—gilding herself in more steel.

Years go by.

She builds a new life.

She leaves the old one behind.

Until one day, she sees the face of a ghost on the news. Brecken seems to have risen from the dead, but she knows she can’t perform the same miracle for herself. While Brecken was held in a torture camp for the past five years, she’s been trapped in her own kind of prison. One she can’t be freed from.  

The man she mourned comes back to join the living, but the girl he wanted to spend his life with isn’t the same woman he comes back for. Brecken isn’t the same person either. The past five years have changed them both. While he’s determined to put the pieces back together, she’s resolved to let hers rot where they shattered.
Broken or not, Brecken wants her back. He’ll do anything to achieve that. Even if it means going against the warden of Camryn’s personal prison—her husband.
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“It’s been six years. Everything’s changed. I have. You have.” My eyes lifted. “Why? Why are you trying to win me back?”
He exhaled, his lips parting. “I’m going to win you back.”
When his hand slid around the bend of my waist, winding behind my back, I jerked. His touch was different tonight, hungry, determined. My head clouded, blocking out reason or letting it surface to the top, one or the other.
“I married him,” I whispered even as my hand found his chest.
“But you belong to me.”
My eyes closed as he bowed me against him. I wasn’t sure how two bodies that had been as broken as ours could be so strong when joined. “How do you know?”
“I can see it in your eyes. Every time you look at me.” His other hand lifted to my chin, tipping it until our eyes connected. His brow rose slowly, like I was proving his point right that very moment.
“That’s a confident statement.” My voice shook, but my body felt steady. Unwavering.
“It’s the truth.”
My chest was moving so hard, it brushed his with every breath. What was I doing? Where had I found myself? The man holding me had died only to be resurrected six years later. It was too late, but it wasn’t over.
No matter what, Brecken Connolly and I would never be over.
“Twenty-six days,” I said slowly. “That’s all I have to give you. That’s all I have to give. Four weeks. Once he’s back, you know the way it has to be.”
His face broke, but his hold didn’t budge. “It’s not enough.”
My fingers curled into his shirt, looking for some way to hold on to him. “I know.”
His other arm suddenly looped around me and he lifted me off the ground, his grip going around my backside when my legs tied around him. “But a fucking eternity wouldn’t be enough either, so it’ll just have to do.”
He carried me through the sand and up the stairs of the cabin, then he propped me against the wall so he could open the screen door. Something slipped out of my mouth when he flexed his hips into mine.
“Told you it wasn’t a morning issue,” he whispered in my ear, but I could hear the smile in his voice. “Just a Camryn one.”
He made the same motion with his hips, applying a little more friction this time, causing a louder sound to echo from my lungs.
Opening the screen door as silently as he could, he carried me inside.
“You can set me down, you know?” I whispered.
“I know,” he said, his arms tying tighter. Once all of the lights were off, the cabin closed up for the night, he padded down the hall.
“You know where you’re going?”
His head nodded beside mine. “I’ve always known.”
My hands went behind his neck. His skin was warm and familiar. “And where’s that?”
He exhaled against my skin as he closed the bedroom door. “Toward you.”
He set me down once he’d untied my legs from around his waist, and he took a few steps back. He stared at me for a moment then reached for the lamp on the dresser.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Turning on the lights.”
I watched him flip on another. “Why?”
“Because I want to see you. Because I want to watch your face as I move inside you. Because I want to see your skin flush when I make you come.” He flipped on one more light, then all of his attention turned to me. “Because I want to see everything.”
My heart took off as I imagined being intimate with him with every light in the room on. My body wasn’t the same one he’d left. It had carried a burden; it bore the scars of a shattered soul and a broken body. “I don’t want you to see me. Not like that. In the dark, you can imagine the way I was before.”
When I reached for the closest lamp to switch it off, he stopped me. “I don’t want to imagine.” His hand curled around mine, guiding it away from the lamp. “I want the real thing. I want the real you.”
“You’ve seen my body. You know what I look like beneath all of this.” I motioned at the fresh clothes hanging off of me, covering me from my wrists to my ankles to my neck.
“When I look at you, I see beauty and strength, and the one person in the world who gives me a reason to live and a reason to die.” He drew me to him, his face creased in lines of concentration. “That’s what I see when I look at you.”

My Review

There’s not one book by Nicole Williams that I have not loved and that includes this one! Even with the title TORTURED I loved it, and there is most definitely torture involved, so much so that it made it me cringe. This book took me on a journey that I wasn’t an anticipating. I ended up having a love hate relationship through a good portion of it. But a relationship I wasn’t leaving LOL…. I COULD NOT put it down! I just had to know what was going to happen.

Brecken, Crew and Camryn all grew up together… Brecken being 2 years older than Crew and Camryn. All three of them came from homes that were not the best, each one with their own struggles. Brecken and Camryn became a couple in their teens and Crew took on ‘the friend’ role. When Brecken graduated from high school he left for the Marines, But its during Camryn and Crews senior year that he goes missing … and becomes a POW. Part of Camryn heart goes missing too.

She continued on in her life. She had choices she had to make. Graduation had happened. She ends up marrying Crew, and has a child, a little boy, Keenan, that just melts my heart… even now thinking back on this book!!! (sigh*) As life would have it, Camryn did not make a very good decision when she chose to marry Crew. Crew turns out to be not so nice. He is a police officer with an alcohol problem and a very short temper! Not a good combination … her home becomes a sort of prison for her .. she doesn’t leave all that much, just your normal stuff … grocery shopping, the park .. but mostly she stays home with Keenan. Keenan is her whole life. HE is the only reason she stays with Crew. Camryn is one unhappy young woman.

6 years and Brecken is found and returned home! The missing marine is home! The reunion is a little awkward but yet bittersweet. (Yes, I cried) Neither one of them are the same. Crew is cordial, at first. Then Brecken buys the house next-door. And Crew? He’s not liking that, but actually Crew don’t like anything. Crew has demons that have nothing to do with Camryn, or Brecken! But you can bet he will use that old relationship as an excuse to do his damage! And one night he goes way to far!

I can’t believe how much suspense was in this book … right along with Swooning romance .. my heart was pounding for so many different reasons it was crazy!

Some of my favorite parts and quotes…

“He didn’t move for a while, probably unable to thanks to the swarm circling him, vying for photos, handshakes, and autographs. My heart ached right then, enough to make me gasp. I hadn’t realized it still resided in my chest until that moment. I was certain it had flown off to Iraq with him, but now it was back, hurting in my chest like it was struggling for life.” ~Camryn

“I feel lost. My old life feels like a dream, and this one feels like I’m living someone else’s life. The only time I feel hints of my old self is when I am…” his head turned toward the window as he closed his mouth. He wasn’t going to finish his sentence then his head rotated back to where I was hovering at the sink, his eyes clearing. “When I’m with you.” His words echoed off the kitchen walls. “I remember who I was, who I am, when I’m with you.” ~Brecken

“There’s only one way to be a monster, Blue Bird.”  “What way is that?” I whispered. “Playing the game by their rules. Winning the game by their rules.” “You’re a marine. That’s what you know.” “I’m a man staring at a woman I’ve loved, trying not to break down in front of her broken body.”  His voice broke, matching the look on his face. “Trying to be strong when I’ve never in my life felt weaker. Trying to look like I can handle seeing her like this when I can’t effing handle seeing her like this.” ~Brecken

5 Suspenseful stars! Yay!!

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Nicole Williams is the New York Times and USATODAY bestselling author of contemporary and young adult romance, including the Crash and Lost & Found series. Her books have been published by HarperTeen and Simon & Schuster in both domestic and foreign markets, while she continues to self-publish additional titles. She is working on a new YA series with Crown Books (a division of Random House) as well. She loves romance, from the sweet to the steamy, and writes stories about characters in search of their happily even after. She grew up surrounded by books and plans on writing until the day she dies, even if it’s just for her own personal enjoyment. She still buys paperbacks because she’s all nostalgic like that, but her kindle never goes neglected for too long. When not writing, she spends her time with her husband and daughter, and whatever time’s left over she’s forced to fit too many hobbies into too little time.
Nicole is represented by Jane Dystel, of Dystel and Goderich Literary Agency.